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Deuce Garland from “Unmentionables” by Laurie Loewenstein.
Don’t worry. It’s not really about underwear. “Unmentionables” is a book about a forward-thinking feminist named Marian trapped in a more conservative town. Like, back in the day. Like, back during WWI...
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Baptiste from “Failure to Pay” by Lisa Martens
This is me. I write stuff. So, I’m all about shameless self-promotion. I’ll be reviewing a character in . . . that’s right . . . my own story. About Baptiste rich dude married owns a ranch likes...
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Tobias from “Animorphs” by KA Applegate.
Wow, this is pretty much exactly as I imagined him. Who remembers the Animorphs series? Teenagers turn into animals, fight brain-sucking aliens, save the world, lose their souls in the process. In...
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The Savage from “Brave New World” by Aldous Huxley
For everyone here who got here because they’re in Honors English, BNW is basically “Wall-E” but for adults. Huxley predicted the Wall-E-ification of humanity while dystopian writers like Orwell thought...
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Frankenstein from “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley.
Why was this the cover? If this is how the monster looked, everything would have been just fine. Give him pants and he’d be the Marlboro Man. I’m talking about Victor Frankenstein, the doctor who made...
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What Makes a Good Secksy Character?
So you have read my reviews. Or you’re about to. A few things might cross your mind about me: feminist bitch feminist bitch critical reads a lot reads too much appears to be more concerned with reading...
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Hagrid from the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
LEGO HAGRID YES. I’m not interested in Harry because he’s like, a child for most of the series. That’s a little too creepy. While we all know Harry ends up becoming a grown ass hottie, I can’t in good...
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Aslan from “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by CS Lewis
Wow, someone made a sexy Mr. Tumnus. I may have to do this next. Damn. I don’t want to hear about how Aslan symbolizes Jesus, or how having sex with animals is wrong. We all know Aslan the Lion is...
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Chase from “Crank” by Ellen Hopkins
Meth is like one of those, “I give up on life totally” drugs. This book is filled with sleazebags, rapists, absent fathers and drug addicts who drive their girlfriends to suicide. It was hard enough to...
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Augustus Waters from “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green.
You’ve probably seen this everywhere. Here it is again. I have been gone for a while due to grad school and, you know, my own book. I’ll end my hiatus with this one because everyone on Tumblr is...
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Pedro from “Like Water for Chocolate” by Laura Esquivel
This would be really romantic if you weren’t married to her sister. This book had a lot of blah blah about food that I just skipped. I know the recipes had some kind of hidden meaning in the text, but...
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Michael from “The Black Chapel” by Marilyn Cruise
She’s a stripper faced with an impossible decision. Actually no, it’s not an impossible decision at all. TAKE THE MONEYS. This is about a girl named Scarlett who thinks too much. No really, she has two...
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